Changing

Posted on Thu Aug 13th, 2026 @ 12:42am by Ensign Charalyne Blackwood

During a meeting with Lt Ellis, I spoke of my character while serving in the Special Forces. I recalled being as human as my teammates. I briefly felt shame over the reckless activities I had once enjoyed. I had to remind myself that humans often live emotionally charged lives, especially those involved with combat and infiltration duties. I had to remind myself that I was very out of touch with my Vulcan heritage. It was during the fifth month of my third year in the Special Forces that I started to realize I was not living true to myself, and have since then, given as much time as I can to the study and practice of Vulcan customs and culture. I have felt the calling on many occasions. Kolinahr. As I age I can only study and train my mind so much. The brief times I have set foot on Vulcan caused distress, in that some Vulcans looked upon me with disdain or pity. I was not given many choices in my life due to circumstances that were in no way under my control. I feel longing for the company of others alike myself. Part of me has a growing concern that I will spend my remaining time fighting emotion. Is it possible to live a life true to my ancestry and partake of emotion?

Tags: Hybrid, Vulcan, culture clash, inner conflict