Unease

Posted on Mon Jul 27th, 2026 @ 2:24am by Ensign Charalyne Blackwood

The time is presently 0410. A still mind gathers rest. Thus I have been on the holodeck since 0230 and have yet to program any simulation. Instead I have chosen to attempt to still my mind and quiet my thoughts. I would prefer the comfort of my quarters but the sense of isolation therein conflicts the desire to rest. To this day I find question as to why no Vulcan had ever invited me to spend my childhood on Vulcan in an effort to grow into a more logical being as Ambassador Spock did. Even after my acceptance into Starfleet other Vulcan cadets seemed to avoid my company. In spite of the apparent rejection by them I feel drawn at this time in my life to embrace my heritage. I will always be half human and acknowledge Earth as my home but the other half of me desires a greater connection. Where does one begin? Will I be able to have a sense of wholeness? Do I seek the ultimate disciplines of Kolinahr? Has inner conflict arisen? Have I become so comfortable with emotion?

Tags: Question, confusion, acceptance